Media Hullaballoo

Wow! What a weekend. Anne Coulter showing her Party's "Family Values" platform and Hillary showing off her "Southern Roots" down yonder in Selma. What can I say? Well for starters, let's say "a Pox on both your Houses".

It is no secret that I dislike Ms. Rodham-Clinton. I am really not a fan of any of the members of the Democrat Party. Does that make me a member of the GOP? Hell no! I have a dislike of the them too. I am an equal opportunity Hater. I think that the while the Democrats fail to take accountability for the messes that they make, the GOP arrogantly makes messes and then doesn't finish them. So on both sides there are a lot of finger pointing and blaming. It's like watching sides being chose for a kickball game on the Playground.

Here is the real rub. GOP's talk of Family Values and Pro-life and little Government involvement, but then fights a war on terror. Where is the "Pro-Life"? Democrats talk of spreading the wealth around so everyone can have a "fair shake" and then talks of raising taxes to help out those less fortunate. What kind of crap is that? I don't want to share my "wealth" with anyone that is less fortunate. I got a job. I've worked crappy places, doing crappy things. I fought and scraped my way to the Middle and I'll be dammed if I going to let somebody that does not represent my interests telling me to be fair and help out.

Other side of the coin. I am not a Woman. It is not my place(or job) to tell a Woman what to do with her body. While I am not Pro-Abortion, I believe that a Woman should have the right to do with her Body as she sees fit. It is not the Government's job. It should never be the Govt's job. It is not even my job. Where would the Govt control stop? Think about it for just a second. It is illegal to do whatever you want with YOUR Body Susie. Now what else can be taken away from you? They speak of minimal Govt involvement but they want to control a biological function. Whaa?!! So using the fuzzy logic that the GOP uses, it is not right(sanctity of Human Life) to abort a fetus, but it is fine, no, right to send that same fetus to War 18 years later?

Where is this going? I'm not altogether sure, but I do know this; if you listen to others and their opinions on things without forming your own opinion based on FACTS, then you are doomed to live in a Country controlled by people who do not your or the Country's best interests in their agenda. Don't listen to what is being said by the talking heads on the Radio and don't be mislead by someone looking to get your vote. Take time to do a little research and form your own ideas.
Sermon ended..
Now, how 'bout that shaved-head thing that Brittney has goin' on?

Seperated at Birth?

Okay, real quick...

When Lovie Smith talks...he sounds like Cleveland from The Family Guy.
Kyle Orton and John Davey(who have to know the guy to see it).

Bands I like. A nearly complete list

This is the answer to the oft-asked question "Well what kind of music do you like?" Here we go.

1. Frank Sinatra
2. They Might Be Giants
3. XTC
4. The Clash
5. Elvis Costello
6. Warren Zevon
7. Talking Heads
8. Los Straitjackets
9. Los Lobos
10. Brave Combo
11. Dire Straits
12. The Kinks
13. The Who(though they have almost worn out their welcome)
14. The Cramps
15. Camper Van Beethovan
16. Van Morrison
17. Kaiser Chiefs
18. Husker Du(and any of Bob Mould's solo stuff)
19. The Reivers
20. Count Basie(I also dig the retro lounge stuff that is floating around)

There. Feel empowered now? Give you a little "inside" info on the life and times of your Headmaster.

Bands I hate...an Incomplete list...

In no particular order. I don't feel like going into details right now. This does not include Rap or Country Music since there is really not enough space. Anyway...off the races..

1. U2
2. The Doors
3. Led Zeppelin
4. Bruce Springsteen and the E street Band
5. Metallica
6. Madonna
7. Dave Matthews Band
8. Phish
9. GG Allin
10. All of the late 80's hair bands.
11. Gwen Stefani(though I do like No Doubt)
12. Bush
13. Fall Out Boy
14. Brittney Spears(there is a special place in Hell for her and Bono)
15. Jimi Hendrix(Stay in the Box Jimi. Stay in the Box)

That's a good start.

Why! Why! Why am I such a geek??!!??

I am obsessed with Games. There I said it. Let the healing begin. (5 mins later)..I'm still obsessed. Well they say that the first step is to admit that you have a problem. I don't really have a problem. I mean there are a lot of other things that are far more important than my geekitry. The War in Iraq, the political turmoil in our Nation's capital, the Anna Nicole Smith saga and the lack of hair on Brittney's head just to name a few. But what is filling up a vast majority of brain space is the playing/reading about/pricing games. Not video games, I don't have the energy for that. That is far too much time and money investment for my tastes. Nope. I love Board Games(if I say that enough then maybe this will go away). I sell Board Games in my spare time. When I am looking for something to read, there is a good chance that I will download rules to a game that I am interested in and print it out and read it. My friends will buy games and drop them off at the Charm School for me to figure out and teach them. Teach them their own game??! What is wrong with me?

Well let's feed the Beast. Here are the Games that I own that I want to play. This means that if someone calls me now(it's after 11pm on a schoolnight) and says, "Hey quatsch let's play PR." There is a real good chance that I will indulge in that. Even if I have to drive to another town. That's how I roll.

1. Puerto Rico(PR)-One of my favorite games. Where else can I build things, settle plantations, and ship everything back to the Old World. In the World o' the Geek there is an issue with the color of the little wooden disks that represent "Colonists". Some would say that the color of the disks make them Slaves(the disks are a dark brown), I say whatever as long as they keep harvesting and working the manufacturing plants, I'm happy.

2. Die Macher-The title is german. It is not wishing death on some guy named Macher. It loosly translates to "The Power Broker". If I explain it now, I'll get no one to play it with me, because I cannot make it sound interesting. As a game, it is awesome and I've only played it once. That is how much of an impression on me.

3. Thurn and Taxis-Whoever said that building Postal routes through Southern Germany in the 19th Century would be fun...well really no one has ever said that. Great game and easy to teach even though I have heard to called "4 player solotare.

4. Carcassone-You pick tiles out of bag that represent sections of roads, cities and cloisters in Medivel France. A different game every time using the same pieces. Easy and quick.

Those are currently the Big 4. Honorable Mention goes to Heroscape. Look it up for a journy into total Geekdom. I mean come on, I'm 42 yrs old and I love pushing little painted figures around customizable terrian.

WHY! WHY! WHY!!!!

(and why doesn't the spellcheck work?)

Just a Game?

Sunday is the Superbowl. Am I allowed to type that? I'm going to anyway. I grew up in Illinois just a 1 1/2 hours from Chicago. I became a fan of the Bears by location default. When I was a youngster, I was a fan of the Eagles. Thinking about it now, I was really just a fan of Harold Carmichael and Wilbert Montgomery and Dick Vermiel. I had a couple of friends who were big Steelers fans so I knew all about them. Flash-forward many years and I move to the Pittsburgh area and there is something in the air there. That was the year the the Pirates were good(the last one) and they were in the Playoffs. But the only thing that was on TV was the Steelers and this young kid who had big shoes to fill. Chuck Noll had just retired(been fired, whatever)and this Cowher guy was coming in. Who was this guy. That year the players were saying that this was going to be a "rebuilding" year. I think it was D.J. Johnson whi said that "We will probably go 8-8 this year." Well they went to the Playoffs that year and the Cowher Dynasty began and I became hooked.

I am a Bill Cowher fan. I am a Steelers fan. That being said, I still follow the Bears. For the last 23 years I have watched and bitched and cheered and thrown things at everything that the Bears do and have done. I think that everyone should have 2 teams. A Main Team and a Fall-back Team. My main Team is the Steelers. My fall-back Team is the Bears. This has been a pretty good season and last season was pretty good too.

Here's to all Football Fans, Go Bears! Remember: there is no good/bad Rex Grossman. There is just Rex and he will either succeed based on how his line holds up and if his receivers can catch. That's it.

By the way, I checked my bible and it said that "Lo, when the Rabid Fan with all the cats goes South to the Big Game, the end is nigh." That means you Sweetwood.

Tattoo Ewww!!

Let's just get it out in the open. I'm a prude. Sure I talk a good game. I know the seven different chakras that can make a woman meow like a cat. I can tell the difference between the German Knucklecake and the Bulgarian Gas Mask. I know the particular sound pitch that will cause a woman to have a spectacular orgasam and her male friend to wet himself. But face it, I don't use this knowledge. Why? It's not because "Knowledge is Power" and I am setting myself up for a huge power play to take over the World. It is because I am rather prudish.

I went to Mardi Gras. I was embarrassed with what I saw. Mostly embarrassed with myself because it all seemed so commonplace and no one, the Police, the people debasing themselves or the weirdos with the digital cameras was acting like this type of behavior was not, for lack of a better word, normal. When the "guys" get together and talk "guytalk" I always try not to look uncomfortable and sound like the guy from the "40-year old Virgin" that is trying to talk about sex and really has no idea.

Now don't me wrong. I have a pretty reasonable idea on how this whole sex-thing works. I mean I have 2 kids that look enough and act enough like me that I can tell that they are mine. So I done it at least twice...STUD!

Anyway, let me get to what I trying in vain to bring up. My prudish nature really manifests itself when I run into people with tattoos. I have a real issue with tattoos. Here is Quatsch's "5 who are allowed to have tattoos"(and are not part of the Maroi culture)
1. Sailors
2. Convicts
3. Truck Drivers
4. Pirates
5. Circus Freaks

If you belong to one of these 5 groups, then you can have a tattoo. If you are not a member of these 5, then stay away from the ink.

Why don't I like them? They make you look dirty and not in the good way. The teenager giving me my burger at the local burger joint with his "Peace and Love" tats across his knuckles just leaves me cold. I see it now, "Dad. Can I get a tattoo?" "Son, you'll need a job to pay for it." Yuck.

The most beautiful woman in the world can come over to my house. She can cook me a huge meal. She can take off all of her clothes and tell me that I can do whatever I want with her and lucky me..she's got a tattoo. See you later...dirty hoor. Sorry, I had to go all hardcore there, but that's just how I'm wired. I saw on TV last night there was this rather attractive woman and she turned around and I thought that she had a rather odd design on the back of her dress and then I realized that it was her Tattoo! Help me here. Why put a tattoo where you can't see it? I've heard that it is so the "other person" can enjoy it. Well if that's the case, then put words there so I can read it because when someone it that close, the last thing I want to be doing is asking if that is a ducky or a sheep and why does the bottom part look like a design on Roy Clark's shirt. Now you got me thinking about Roy Clark and then I start humming "Ghost Riders in the Sky" and "Orange Blossom Special" and it all goes off the tracks from there.

"But it is a way to express myself and have something that lasts forever." Right. When you are in your 20's, the things that mean ever-so-much to you lose their luster either during the 2nd year of your 40-50 hour work week or you realize that your 35 now and in charge of over 100 people in a multi-national Company and the flaming skull being pierced by a dagger while being held by one of the Dragonball Z characters is showing though your shirt and the smart-ass kids that make up a majority of the workforce are laughing their behinds off behind you back.

Ahh...respect. Leave the tattoos to the people that deserve them. Use the money to buy yourself something that will last forever and allow you to express yourself...a Mortgage.

When Race and Gender make me mad.

After the Bears game this Sunday, you know the one where the Bears beat the Saints...no I take that back, prison-raped the Saints. I was treated to the knowledge that not only did the Bears win, but more importantly that there was a chance that there would be 2 African-American Coaches coaching in the SUPER BOWL for the first time. I thought, "Hey! That's it. The last 400 years of social injustice is now healed."

Really. Perhaps I'm being naive here, but since when is the ability of a person dictated by the color of his or her skin? Why is it such a big deal? Do the players say, "Gee, the Coach is the same color as me, so I'll perform better for him." Of course not(unless it is Barry Bonds, but let's not start on that guy yet). They perform because they are getting paid.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I can go to the next thing that bothers me. The lack of research that people do when they vote. Mrs. Clinton(Rodham) has announced that she might be seeking the White House. How many women are going to vote for her because she is a Woman? Don't vote for someone because they share something that you have. Vote because you agree with their stances on the issues. Ask what their policies are. What do they stand for not "I've got a vagina, she's got a vagina. Hello Madam President." I don't like Mrs. Clinton as a potential President. Is it because she is a woman? No, I like women. I don't like her politics. Pure and simple. I don't like that fact that what she stands for reeks of Socialism. I don't like that the fact that she (and her Party) will not stand up and be accountable for their decsions. Not being from New York, I have no idea what she has brought to the table to improve that State, but I'm guessing that she has done just enough to keep her job(who am I kidding? She was elected not hired. It's tough to fire an elected Offcial). The same thing holds true for Mr. Obama, but I'll talk about him at a later date. I like vaginas. I am not voting for a vagina. Unless it comes with a comprehensive plan on how it's not going to spend my money on giving healthcare to people who are in this country illegally. Oh yeah, and looks good in a thong.

Please stop telling me that need to get over my guilt and accept the fact that a Woman can run the Country as well as a Man and that a Black Man can coach a Team as well a White Man. In my myopic worldview, I don't care who or what you are as long as you can do the Job to my Satisfaction. Coach Smith. Congrats! You did it despite having all those years of Slavery keeping you down, When you broke the chains...nevermind, you did the Job that you said you were going to do and I thank you. Mrs. Clinton, no thanks. For anything.